“My boys give me life. They are so much fun - yes they are a handful - but they are just so full of energy and life!”

Tabatha is the mother of two “super smart” and “fast as a whip” brilliant boys. As a child, she recalled her family had frequent conversations about the importance of children growing up in stable environments and the need to provide loving homes for those who didn’t have that home life. Tabatha credits her father for sharing his dream of a big family and often talking of fostering as what fueled her desire to foster children.

When Tabatha became an adult, she carried the dream and the desire with her. She knew in order to provide a stable environment, she needed to establish a stable environment. She settled into a job God provided which gave her the finances to find a home. She began taking the required classes needed to become a foster parent. As part of the licensing process, she was encouraged to obtain a dual license giving her the ability to foster and adopt. She admits that at the time, she never thought adoption could happen; she did not expect that when children were placed with her that it could be their forever home. Tabatha’s original goal as a foster parent was for families to experience reconciliation; this means loving on the children AND supporting the parents.

One of the very first families placed with Tabatha had 4 children total; 2 brothers, 1 sister, and 1 half-brother. It became clear after a year that reconciliation with the biological parents was going to be very challenging. At 18 months, the judge terminated parental rights. Sibling sets this large usually need to be spilt up, and Tabatha was faced with a perplexing decision: which “set” should stay with her.

Unsure of what God was saying, Tabatha pressed into prayer. Soon, the grandparents of the half-brother petitioned for him. One of Tabatha’s close friends petitioned for the sister. This left the 2 older brothers. The younger of these 2 brothers had already experienced attachment with Tabatha. Still pressing in to gain wisdom from God that adoption was the right decision, Tabatha remembers specifically praying, “if You want me to take this on, make it clear.” Less than 2 weeks later, the oldest called her “Mom” for the first time. Tabatha proceeded with the adoption process, and we are happy to report it was recently completed in April!

Up until she began the foster requirements, she admits she had never really “parented,” so Tabatha began seeking support. She often sought advice from her family and other moms but realized she didn’t have a community to lean on. Growing up in a small community where everyone helps everyone, seeking community in a larger city was a challenge for her.

Tabatha discovered Single Parent Provision and “dipped her toe in the water” by attending a Single Moms Group. Immediately, she felt support from a close-knit group of other single moms who were also walking similar journeys. This was exactly what she needed. When she began her single parent journey, she did not know what kind of help was available and often felt very alone, unable to bounce ideas off someone. Group has become important to her as she seeks to receive solid Godly advice, grow in grace, and improve as a person and a parent.

Attending Break Time has also become very important for her and the boys. She knows the boys are safe, and it’s an opportunity for her to connect with friends (without worrying about interruptions). Tabatha is delighted the boys are comfortable at Break Time and that they ask when the next one is! Her oldest has even acknowledged that Break Time is good for her, too!

Reflecting on how much her boys have grown and the milestones they have met since they were all placed together brings Tabatha joy. Tabatha recalls when they came to her all she saw was their trauma; now she sees them being kids.

Tabatha encourages other single parents, “As hard as it can be - it is the most amazing opportunity of growth for yourself and your kids - in those moments when you might lose yourself, take a deep breath to give yourself a moment to respond in the way they need.”

“My ultimate hope for our family is that we can continue to learn and grow together; we’re not perfect but I want us to be our best. I hope they realize how much they are loved, by me and our Creator, and that He picked us. I hope they see the changes I have made are because I love them. I’m trying to show them how to love by example.”

Tabatha, we applaud your courage to walk in faith and your resolve to “love by example.” Your family is dearly loved!

Published May 2024