When Jackie’s single parent journey began, she found herself in a season of mourning over the loss of the hopes and dreams she had for her family. She made a vow to give her 3 children, a daughter and two sons, the best life possible, and that promise became her anchor. She credits her brother and sister-in-law, several close friends, and her long-time employer with giving her the encouragement and support she needed.

Jackie finds it challenging to raise three teenagers alone. She has learned the value of setting very clear expectations, setting boundaries, establishing consequences and the discipline of follow through. Jackie admits that it took time, and she made some mistakes on her part. Allowing her children to learn, problem solve and experience consequences is part of the process. As she sought advice from other parents, she began to recognize that they were experiencing similar behaviors, and what she was experiencing with her children was not necessarily tied to being from a single parent home.

To other single parents and in her own words, Jackie offers encouragement:

“If I could go back and even talk to myself I would say, ‘…the past is gone and today is where you are. Worrying about the future will only make you feel like you have a thousand things that you need to do and make you feel overwhelmed. Focus on today and the wonderful things you accomplished.’”

“Don’t think of it as “I have to ask for help.” Think of it as “I had a problem and I solved it!’”

“…take care of your mental and physical health. [Do] whatever it takes [to] make it a priority.”

For those who are not single parents, Jackie shares the importance of not asking “how can I help?” Instead, she suggests, “offer to give their children rides to and from ball practice. If you have a used coat, offer it up. When you are at the store offer to pick up a couple of items…understand that I may be so busy I don’t even have a moment to ask for help. Just taking one item off someone’s schedule gives them that 30 minutes to do something else.” Jackie says even speaking words of encouragement like, “you are doing a wonderful job” will make a difference in someone’s day!

Jackie learned about Single Parent Provision when she took advantage of Home Provision. “I had tolerated all of these little things that needed to be done around the house for over a year, and they [the volunteer group from First Family Church] took care of everything in a day! They were so wonderful. I was in tears and smiling the whole time! A neighbor was so impressed with the work that had been done they asked if the team could be hired!”

“The Single Moms Christmas Dinner was awesome; I hadn’t gotten a present in years!” Jackie and her family were also able to attend an Iowa Wild Hockey game when Single Parent Provision was gifted tickets from a community partnership with IMT Insurance. “My kids and I had a blast and looking at the ticket prices, I wouldn’t have been able to afford this. It brought us together as a family and it was great hearing them laughing together. My kids are older and it was great to take them to this game!”

Today “I [am] in a place where I can appreciate everything…my journey, where I came from; it took time; I went through all these changes… I’m learning to see the flowers in the weeds. I had to walk through quite a journey to where I am today. As I listen to others I realize all that I’ve overcome. I am so proud of my children. I really couldn’t ask for more!”

You are an overcomer, Jackie. Thank you for sharing some insight and reflections into your journey sharing and your nuggets of encouragement. This one is so good it’s worth repeating: “Don’t think of it as “I have to ask for help.” Think of it as “I had a problem and I solved it!’” Blessings to you, Jackie!

Published July 2024